This is a post about why I’m turning away from a lot of social media, and keeping more to myself these days. It’s a post about the struggle to stay away from ugliness and negativity . These are troubled times, no doubt about it. The world has always been a rough place, full of intrigue, barbarism, war, disease, and famine. Wait, those are not exactly the four horses of the Apocalypse, are they? No matter, I just assume the actual apocalypse may have four main horses, but there will be a whole lot of nasty little biting ponies behind them. (No, no, don’t write me a response telling me off for being a small horse hater, I’m not. I love all horses, but childhood experience taught me some ponies bite. That’s another story though)..

Ok, where was I? I got sidetracked thinking about hateful ponies. Oh, right, the world has always been an ugly place. It’s true, there’s always been evil in this world. I will be honest, though, that in my personal bubble, since my birth in the early 70’s, my life has been pretty calm and unruffled. I realize that I have had more advantages than quite a lot of people, so by no means am I speaking on anyone else’s experience. I had a loving family, health, security of all types, and many other blessings. I didn’t worry about much other than my wants, and certainly had all my needs covered. I was most likely what you’d call sheltered in a lot of ways. While I was aware that many others did not have what I took for granted, it wasn’t until much later in life that I found out the depths of what I did not know.

There’s a whole lot of folks out there who haven’t had a lot of happiness in their lives, and we’d do well to recognize that and learn some empathy. I was taught by my family to do for others. If you had the means to help someone, that’s just what you should do. My parents helped a lot of folks over time, in a variety of ways. Mama also taught me to do small kindnesses for people. That means, not big stuff like helping pay bills or whatnot, but making little treats for someone, or leaving them flowers on their porch, sending a card, or giving them a silly heartfelt gift. Sometimes, a little note of positivity helps a person get a better outlook on what’s going on in their life. Mama always taught me to make things a little fancy too, like simply putting maraschino cherries on a plain ol’ chocolate box cake to take to a friend. (And this was way before Martha Stewart, or Pinterest, folks).

I lost the path again, there. Is that just me, or is that a southern thing? Who knows, hang in there, there’s a point around here somewhere. Ahh, yes, it was there is ugly everywhere and people suffering. But, you know what? You don’t have to take part in it. You really don’t. Now, I am a firm believer in helping bringing about change to make things right and good for the benefit of everyone, and sometimes you gotta roll up your pants legs and step alll in some mud and manure to get that job done. That’s necessary work. What I am trying to say here is- You don’t have to be the captain or even part of the crew of the ship of fools. That means you don’t have to be a part of the ugly. Not only is it not necessary to join in, but it also means you don’t have to entertain it. You don’t have to tolerate it or stand in the same room with it. This is something I have struggled with in my own way. It’s so easy to get caught up in hate and despair, but you can choose not to.

Growing up, my mama always sang me a song called Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive. Some of y’all might know it, but for those that don’t, the first stanza goes like this- You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don’t mess with Mister In-Between. Pretty great, right? The rest of it is wonderful too, but I’ll let you all go listen for yourselves, and I bet you’ll want to add it to your repertoire right away, and there are several versions to choose from too. So, lately in this current political climate, in our world of social media, constant TV, and sensational news (both fake and real), I’ve learned that people have just become downright hateful in their opinions. They just want to tell anyone and everyone how dumb they are and how underserving of love they are if they don’t agree. I don’t know about you, but I was taught a little better than that. I think we all need to grab a glass of tea and listen to this song again.

I’d always heard that you never discuss politics, religion, or money in polite company, and now I know why. Because you can’t. People feel rather strongly about those subjects (heck, they will fight you to the death over what a celebrity wore on tv, so imagine the vitriol that comes with real issues), and have, apparently, lost the ability to agree to disagree, or gasp, even listen to another person’s perspective with an open mind and heart. I had no idea of the bitterness and hate in some people’s hearts until recently. Call me naive, I suppose, but here I was, just bopping around in my little bubble of chaos (if you know me, I don’t even have to explain that one), thinking people were walking around loving each other like we are supposed to. Guess not..It’s a dog eat dog world out there, and social media has brought the worst out in everyone. That’s no fun at all!

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with positivity, like I suspect a lot of people have. I lost my beloved mama to cancer last year, a couple of precious youth members gained their wings, and then the whole pandemic started, and somewhere right in there, we started turning on each other. This country took a moment when we needed to reach out and help and love each other, and instead turned it into the Purge. People I know and love have started spouting rhetoric that makes me wonder if I ever really knew them at all. Now, though I inherited my mother’s high emotional status and fierce temper, I’m actually pretty much a pacifist. I dislike conflict and discord. I have been antagonistic many a time, and won’t pretend to perfection, but my heart really does yearn to be a good neighbor to the world. I’ve cried and been aghast at what I’ve seen from folks, and finally, after a couple of soft attempts, have finally elected to shut down my FB page. I decided that I needed to be away from that kind of negativity in my life and I’d just write my little blog and not know about everybody else’s hateful thoughts. So far, it’s working out quite well. (I should admit I have a small page to share my blog on but I don’t follow people on it).

I’ve been going to the library lately, reading books on positivity and choosing how you react to a situation that you cannot change. One such book that I am working on is called Three Simple Steps by Trevor Blake. I’m still in the beginning, but found a quote that I have been mulling over for days now: “We must change our thoughts from being against things we don’t want, to being for things we do want.” Simple, right? If you think about it, though, it’s really deep. We can choose not to sit around and just hate stuff we don’t like and turn around and celebrate what we do. I think it’s kind of a revelation. I can sit here and read awful things people say and be sad, or I can walk away from it and find my joy. It also seems to tell me that if I want to love some people in my life, I probably shouldn’t know a whole lot about what they think about on the daily…

Clearly I cannot change other’s hearts, but I can protect mine. I can walk away from the negative, and continue to be positive. I can read books, and watch documentaries. I can search out information from a variety of sources, and educate myself. I can love people (from a distance if necessary), and try to do those little kindnesses. I enjoy my church family. I enjoy my husband and children. I have family and friends I can reach out to, and who are more than welcome to reach out to me. I can garden, paint, cook, and craft. I can hike the woods and enjoy Nature. I can step away from arguments and turn my face away from temptation. I’m gonna sing my little song and listen to my heart. I’m gonna take my advice from Mr Rogers and try to be a good neighbor. I’m gonna acc-cent-chu-ate the positive and eliminate the negative. Wouldn’t you like to latch on to the affirmative too?

We can be the agent of change together. We can choose love. If you have the means, get out in nature and take a walk. We can write letters again. Cook for someone. Plant a garden or even just a houseplant. Look at each other in wonder instead of disgust. Share your gifts and talents with the world. Pray if that’s what helps you. Talk to each other. Humble ourselves. Make a list of your blessings and start the day with that so you can face the trials with a clear head and happy heart. Volunteer. Learn. Grow. The world has it’s sorrows, don’t be one of them. Love to you all, I hope this finds your heart. Jessie, Weeds and All.